10 Karaoke Commandments

I got a lot of emails from Portland Karaoke lovers to post the 10 Karaoke Commandments from Ignite Portland 4.  Alex Williams' entire Ignite Portland presentation can be seen online at Youtube.

So here are the 10 Karaoke Commandments (by Alex Williams)

First know: failure at Karaoke is being totally ignored.

1. Karaoke is not a singing contest
   No text message voting, no record contracts, you won't win any awards
2. Leave it all on the stage
   Don't just stand there, get up and do some moves. Just perform, don't have any regrets.
3. Use a fake name
   Create a persona, it's not you, it's that other person
4. No groups – 2 people at most
   There are only 2 microphones so if you're not holding a microphone, you're irrelevant and get off the stage
5. Know your range
   Know what type of voice you have, if you can't sing Don't Stop Believing, stop believing you can sing it. Sweet Home Alabama is a great song to sing, not too high not too low. Don't be a hero.
6. Pick a song you would play at a party
   The party test: A song you'd play at a packed party, if you wouldn't do that, don't do it in karaoke. Do not pick the Beatles because you'll never sound as good or better than them.
7. Know the verses of the song
   If you don't know the verses of a rap song, don't do it.
8. Musical measures are the enemy
   A long guitar solo is a long you solo
9. Karaoke DJ is The Soup Nazi
   Hand them your slip, a tip and walk away (they'll never be your friend)
10. Adapt to your Audience
    Pick something the audience would like, not just something you want to sing.

Most importantly – Have Fun!

Here's a list of my favorite Portland Karaoke bars & lounges : Voicebox Karaoke Lounge, Chopsticks II, The Boiler Room, Galaxy Restaurant and Lounge, The Alibi Restaurant and Lounge.

Ignite Portland 4

Last night the Legion of Tech delivered another successful installment of Ignite Portland. If you're not familiar with the event it's an evening of presentations from people who are passionate about their topic, any topic. Presenters are given a set amount of time to talk with a predetermined number of slides which advance automatically as they speak.

Ignite typically hits a wide range of topics and subjects and is often peppered with Top 5 ways to do this, or the 10 commandments of that. Ignite moves along so swiftly it's like watching  a stand up comedian telling spitfire jokes, some of them are sure to hit and make you forget about the ones that don't.

The highlights of Ignite Portland Were:

• Five Things Portland Can Learn From Kentucky in Five Minutes – Jeff Hardison was fast, articulate, funny and entertaining. His presentation was a template for how to do an Ignite presentation.
• Dating Rules for the Actual World – Alexis Rehrmann gave one of the best talks on dating I've ever seen. Her brutally honest take on the realities of dating was so well done, I could see her turning it into a book.
• Story as Bloodsport: Battling to craft narrative - Melissa Lion showed that even with a technical glitch, having intelligence and poise means you can talk about anything to anyone, anywhere. It's no surprise that Melissa heads one of Portland's top storytelling functions
• 10 Karaoke Commandments – Alex Williams's finale proved to be the most useful presentation of the night. His 10 commandments of Karaoke should be printed out and pasted up anywhere that people do Karaoke in Portland.

The biggest failure of the evening was KGW's reporting.  KGW has been getting its toes wet with social networking and so they decided to try to get involved by covering the event. While it's easy to forgive Stephanie Stricklen for not knowing how to use the @Reply function on Twitter, Joe Smith's coverage of Ignite Portland is almost unforgiveable. In some of the worst bumbling reporting on Portland Television so far this year, Joe Smith clearly had no idea where he was or what he was sent to cover. The reporting was so bad, no words can really do it justice, it really just speaks for itself. (View KGW's reporting of Ignite Portland).

Ignite Portland 5 is scheduled for Feburary 19 and submissions are open now for talks. I'd really like to see the event reach out deeper into the Portland creative community and have a stronger representation from outside the close nit Portland Tech Community.